Goblin Killing Shaman Kills Two Witches in Zimbabwe?

Goblin Killing Shaman Kills Two Witches in Zimbabwe?

Oh hey, we’re back in Zimbabwe with more witch and goblin news! What crazy adventures will happen this time? Murder, the adventures of murder. Now before you go ‘oh I don’t want to be around here for this.”, just hold on a minute. You’ll be perfectly fine as long as you don’t drink anything given to you by a shaman. Why a shaman you ask? Good question! It’s because a shaman from the village of Mangisi is on the run for allegedly poisoning two elderly women he believed were witches. (Don’t drink the fucking kool-aid) The shaman Maxwell Pira, was originally called in to help cleanse the village because it was believed that the two “witches”, 83 year-old Jersey Mutero & 73 year-old Erita Bhebhe, were using goblins to make children sick. During the cleansing ceremony, the two women were given ‘holy water’ to drink but it turned out to be a lethal poison instead. The two women died on the way to the hospital and now the shaman is on the run from authorities. So what did we learn here? You don’t drink something that was given to you by a stranger. Oh, and I guess don’t kill people just because you assume they’re a witch. I’m not sure what else to say simply because there’s nothing to analyze. So…how about we get right to the question of the day! Would you rather be poisoned with, a glass of kool-aid or a pouch of Capri-sun? (That is now officially the dumbest question I’ve ever asked.)

Mysterious Blob Appears in New York After a Rainstorm?

Mysterious Blob Appears in New York After a
Rainstorm?

Hey look, the weird squishy organism we talked about a month ago took steroid and moved to New York! “The Blob” wasn’t just a stupid movie, it’s becoming a reality! Time to invest in a nice flamethrower. But before we start lighting weird things on fire, let’s see if this actually some kind of living creature or not. The blob was discovered on May 24th, 2013 in Carroll Gardens, Brooklyn, New York. People walking down the street were shocked when they discovered the mysterious, hairy blob (shown above) after a rainstorm had passed. One of the pedestrians was a photographer named Keith Thompson. He decided to take some pictures of it. It may seem that the blob is just a lifeless mass of something, but one witness claims they saw it move. Kyle Grunph says that he was on his way to the store when he saw it. He went up to it and said a fowl, fishy smell was coming from the blob. As he got even closer, he swears that he then saw it move. Kyle theorized that perhaps it’s something from the ocean, but this has prompted people to ask what it’s doing all the way in Brooklyn if that’s the case.

Hey look, I finally started using photo-sets! Now you can look at the pictures without having to click the stupid grey box! And now that I’ve finally caught up, let’s talk about the blob. While it is very odd, somebody actually found a rug online that looks almost identical to this. Now I don’t know how a shag rug could somehow look like some blob monster after a rain storm, but what I want to know is if anyone remembers seeing a shag rug outside before the rainstorm. If so, then this is most likely a soggy shag run. If not, then the possibility is still there but it’s not as high. i don’t think it’s a living creature. it could also be some type of big pillow/bean bag type thing. Whatever it is, I don’t think it is/was alive. And as for the guy who said it moved, he probably thought it moved, but it was probably just all in his head. But what do you think? Is this an actual living creature (if so what could it be?) or is it just a shag rug that got soaked in the rain?

New York Birdwatcher Photographs Ghost Ship?

New York Birdwatcher Photographs Ghost Ship?

Speaking of pirate ships, I’m pretty excited for Assassin’s Creed 4. And by the way, Assassin’s Creed 3 didn’t suck. In fact, it’s my favoite AC game so far. Connor wasn’t as bad as people say he is and Desmond’s story ended perfectly. The worst AC game is Revelations and everyone knows it! And that’s all I have to say on that. Now, what were we talking about? Oh right…pirate ships. So today we’re sailing on over to Southampton, New York were a photographer claims he captured what could be a ghost ship. David Sagman was out on January 3rd, 2013. he was on his routine bird watching expedition when he spotted something peculiar out in the ocean. “It seemed to be moving very slowly westward and northward with very subtle shape change,” he said. “no fishing boats were observed nearby.” He quickly snapped up a few shots of the mysterious black haze using his 800mm digiscope on a tripod. He wonders if what he saw could be a flock of thousands of birds. People have suggested that it could be a real ghost ship, while others have suggested that it’s nothing more than a “Fata Morgana”, which is a type of mirage/optical illusion, of an oil rig off in the distance. Those are some of them many theories, but those two seem to be the most popular.

Ghost ships are odd. I don’t think they’re actual “ghosts” since they don’t have souls. I see them more as like ‘windows to the past’ where we’re somehow seeing into the past for a bit. It’s kind of like the tears in BioShock Infinite, sort of. (Man, today’s post is full of video game talk!) Now, that being said, I don’t really believe in ghost ship. But, that’s not gonna hinder my analysis of these photos, so let’s get to it. At fist glance, it does look like a ship. But when you look at it longer, it slowly starts to look like an oil rig. Now I don’t know if there’s an oil rig near where this was taken, so I can’t definitively say that’s what it is. The theory that these are birds doesn’t sound like the answer to me. He said it was moving very slowly, and if this were a flock of birds, they’d be moving all over the place and I think you’d quickly know that you’re looking at birds. To me, the most likely answer is that this is an oil rig and at the distance it’s at, the Fata Morgana effect makes it look all wavy and wispy. I’m not saying that’s 100% what it is, I’m just saying that’s what it most likely could be. But what do you think? Is this an actual ghost ship bleeding through time to the present or is it just an oil rig off in the distance or do you think it’s something else entirely?

Chinese Airplane Collides with an Unknown Object Mid-Flight?

Chinese Airplane Collides with an Unknown Object Mid-Flight?

Ever since I watched LOST, I’ve had absolutely no desire to fly on an airplane again. And today’s story doesn’t alleviate any fears I have of flying. So on June 4th, 2013 a Chinese passenger flight took off towards Guangzhou. 40 mins. into the flight however, the plane collided with an unknown object and forced the plane to turn around and land back at the departure point due to “worsened performance” issues. After passengers were safely escorted off, maintenance crews saw the nose of the plane had a huge dent in it. This prompted an internal investigation that is currently still going on. Photos of the dented plane have been posted to the internet and people have begun to speculate what exactly collided with the plane. Some have suggested that it was a bird, but the plane was flying at 26,000 feet which is to high for any know bird (The highest flying bird is the Bar-headed goose, which has been recorded at around 21,000 feet). There are paint transfer marks, which has ruled out the ‘collapsing air pressure in the nose’ theory. 

I was gonna make a “Made in China” joke, but I felt it would be to much of a CHEAP joke! (That was horrible) Anyways, I’m not sure what could’ve hit the plane. Even if it was a bird, that would have to have been one big bird to make a dent that big. If it was something known, than I’d probably go with a rogue meteor. It was falling to Earth and the plane just happened to be in the right (or I guess wrong) spot for them to collide. If it was something unknown, then I guess we have to go with it being a UFO. So depending on what you believe in, this story could go either way. If you don’t really believe in UFOs/aiens then you’ll probably think it was a meteor or something of that sort. If you do believe in UFOs/aliens, then you’ll probably think it was a UFO or something of alien origin. As of right now, there is no right or wrong answer, it’s just a matter of what you believe it most likely was. I personally think it was probably a meteor or some kind of space junk. But, what do you think it was? Could it have been a UFO or was it something like a meteor?

Aliens Abduct Ohio Man and Steal His Car?

Aliens Abduct Ohio Man and Steal His Car?

That’s gonna be an awkward conversation when you call your car insurance company and tell them that aliens stole your car. Unfortunately for one man, this has happened (the abduction and the car being stolen, not the insurance call. I’m sure that’ll happen soon though.). On June 4th, 2013 at around 1:00 a.m. in Tuscarawas County, Ohio; a man called the local sheriff’s office after he’d been in a strange incident involving “subjects not of this world”. The man says that he started having vehicle problems and that he didn’t know where he left his car. He goes on to say that he was instructed by “subjects not of this world” to drive to a field where an airport would appear and he would be picked up by aliens. (crack is whack) Deputy Rick Morrison says the man told them he’d been taken before. Morrison and Deputy Mike Creager could tell the man had been walking for a very long distance, as he had blisters on his feet despite wearing shoes. Morrison said the car still hasn’t been located and they believe it’s somewhere in Stark (Winter is Coming!) County.

This reminds me of that case where the couple took LSD and got lost in the snowy woods. Eventually they thought they found people and started to talk to them but they were really cows. Then they froze to death. A movie was made about them (it sucked BTW). What I’m getting at is this guy sounds like he had a pretty crazy LSD (or some kind of drug induced) trip. He probably drove off the road, got out of his car and just started wandering while thinking he’d been abducted by aliens the whole time. That, or he’s just making it all up and wasting the police’s time on purpose. But, I’m gonna stick with my drug theory. What do you think? Did this man really come into contact with aliens that ended up jacking his car at a magic airport in a field or is he making it up or did he just have a crazy drug trip?