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Wednesday, 13 November 2013

Maryland - The Beltsville Goatman. “50 States of Freaky!” Vol. 20

Maryland - The Beltsville Goatman. “50 States of Freaky!” Vol. 20

Be sure you’re all caught up with this series! “50 States of Freaky”


I love it when things start out seemingly normal but then take a bizarre sci-fi twist. Example, our next stop in our 50 states of freaky tour takes us to Maryland where an axe wielding creature is said to lurk. Over in Beltsville, Maryland, there is supposedly a half man, half goat hybrid creature that attacks people’s cars with an axe. (interesting…) The legend of this bizarre creature is that a scientist was doing experiments with goats, when something went horribly wrong. Now the scientist is a hairy creature that wields and axe and attacks…cars (But there’s also a version that’s almost the same, but the difference was that the scientist fused a goat and human embryo together and that’s when everything went to shit). Another variation of the legend is that he is just an old hermit who can be seen walking along the roads at night. It’s also said that he targets teenagers who are with a significant other while in a car. (Don’t be jealous of our young love!…that more than likely never lasts more than a few months…) In 2000, a construction worker and his coworkers supposedly ran into the goatman. He was described as having hooves, goat legs, horns on it’s head but that it had the torso of a human, looked to be about 300 pounds and stood about 7 feet tall. Many believe that this legend was just started up by local teenagers, as teenagers were the ones who reported seeing the goatman the most out of anyone else.

I feel like this is some weird, rejected episode of the X-Files. It’s one of those stories that you really can’t question it, because you’ll never get your answer. But, I want to ask them anyway! First off, why cars? Is it because now he can’t drive cars, so therefore he hates them? Second, teenagers are your main target? That’s some pedobear shit right there! Or pedo…goat. IDK, it just doesn’t make sense. And lastly, what kind of supposed ‘experiment’ was this guy doing that somehow had him fuse with a goat? Wait, never mind, I probably don’t want to know. But all joking aside, i don’t believe that there is an axe wielding psycho goat man running around attacking teenagers while inside their car. It’s just an urban legend that was probably made up just so they could have a bizarre story to tell tourists. So, it’s time for today’s questions! Do you think the goatman is real or is he just a made up legend? And, if you could fuse two animals together to make one super animal, which two would you choose?

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