Rihanna Searches for UFOs and Charlie Sheen Hunts for Half-Man, Half-Otter Creatures in Alaska?!

Rihanna Searches for UFOs and Charlie Sheen Hunts for Half-Man, Half-Otter Creatures in Alaska?!

I’d be lying if I said I don’t keep up with the latest celebrity news. And every now and then, the worlds of celebrities and the paranormal collide to make some, truly bizarre headlines. In the past, we’ve had Ke$ha talk about how she’s had sex with a ghost, and how Fran Drescher was abducted by aliens. And today, I have two very strange celebrity/paranormal news stories to share with you all! Prepare for S&M, aliens, tiger blood, Mass Effect and furries! (What am I doing with my life…and why didn’t I start sooner?!)

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Rihanna Searches for UFOs?

So first let’s talk about Rihanna and UFOs. Rihanna, who had the best reaction to the Miley Cyrus 2013 VMA trainwreck IMO, has revealed that she’s had a life-long interest in UFOs. She even believes that UFOs will land on Earth during her lifetime. This fascination with UFOs has led her to hire a man called “Sky Scanner”. He’s stationed at the Little A’Lee’Inn which is a Nevada based motel that hosts UFO hunters. Sky Scanner’s job is to relay any information to Rihanna that involves UFO sightings. This fascination with UFOs apparently stemmed from her childhood. Rihanna says that her father would have her and her younger brother sit out on the steps of their house at night in Barbados and look for UFOs. Her brother, now 23, is also a believer in UFOs. Sky Scanner said that Rihanna assured this isn’t some type of fad for her, that she’s a firm believer in UFOs.

Now, why exactly Rihanna is looking for UFOs is beyond me. I mean, there isn’t much she could do if she finds they exist. Is she hoping to be the “ambassador” for the human race? Or, maybe she’s looking for love in a hopeless place, where she can have a little S&M fun with some aliens under her umbrella.

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Charlie Sheen Hunts for Half-Man, Half-Otter Creatures in Alaska?

Grab your cocaine and some porn stars, because we’re headed to Alaska with Charlie Sheen! The son of the Illusive Man himself, Martin Sheen, hopped on his private jet this past week to embarked on a journey to Alaska in order to hunt for the mythical creature known as the Kushtaka, which loosely translates to “Land otter man”. The Kushtaka is said to be a shapeshifting creature, that can take on the form of a human or an otter (if it stops mid-transformation, does it become an anthro otter?). Despite some legends claiming the creatures are good and help people in trouble, other legends say the creatures are evil killers. The Kushtaka has been known to imitate the sound of a crying baby or woman in distress in order to lure it’s victims to the river so it can kill them, rip them to shreds or turn them into a Kushtaka (this is the second time we’ve talked about killer furries. This is why science should never create real furries, they’d just kill us all). The Kushtaka have also been know to prey on small kids. Copper and urine are said to repel the Kushtaka (who was the one that discovered urine repels them?). The calls of the Kushtaka are said to be high pitched, three part whistles that go in the pattern of low-high-low (I now demand a found-footage style horror movie about the Kushtaka). Charlie departed on this hunt less than a month after he flew to Scotland, where he hunted for the Loch Ness Monster, and came up empty handed. Like before, Charlie came back without encountering the creature. He told TMZ (and this is an actual quote), “It obviously knew our group was far too skilled to be snowed in this fashion so it stayed hidden like a sissy.”.

Charlie’s right. It’s obvious the otter people didn’t want to mess with Charlie and his friends because they were afraid of Charlie’s tiger blood. They know he’s bi-winning, so therefore he can’t be defeated. I’m sure Charlie’s presence alone probably scared the otter men so much that they’re never going to come out of hiding ever again, which means we’ll never find them. Oh well, a winning addict like him won’t let these two failed expeditions stop him from hunting for the truth!

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So what are your thoughts on these two stories? Is Rihanna serious about searching for UFOs, or is she doing this just so people will pay attention to her? And, what mythical creature should Charlie Sheen hunt for next?